Full Moon
by nEvIlLsBiGgEsTfAn
Summary: Bella goes through a difficult time, in which she learns of how painfull love can be, how confusing the truth is, and how fragile she really is.But she also learns also how wonderfull and accepting people are.
1. The Decision

One the decision

The day after the fight was agonizingly long. It seemed to stretch on with no end in sight. But it, like all things, did come to an end eventually. It brought little comfort to me as I tried to sleep, but every moment wondering if Jacob would make it through the night.

Edward did not come to comfort me which made it even worse. Even though I knew he was helping Carlisle, I still ached for the comfort his cold arms brought me. I laid in my bed, exhausted but unable to escape into the wonderful void sleep brought me, until I finally I gave up all thoughts of sleep and went to wait for Charlie get home.

Charlie had called me from Billy's house minuets after they had brought Jacob in.

"In sorry Bell but Billy needs me… You understand don't you?" he had tasked cautiously.

"Of course I do, just make sure you call me the second he wakes up" I told him trying to sound as a friend would, knowing that I never would again.

"Bells,'' Charlie tried, more comforting after hearing the pain in my voice "In sure he is going to be fine. He has the best doctor in Forks taking care of him! You just relax and I'll make sure to give you a call when he-" He was cut off by the sound of many people shouting "Bella he woke up! But you'd better wait till he feels well enough to talk to come and see him. I don't think that will be for a while though… Love you!''

"But Dad- ''I started, but it was to late Charlie' had hung up on me.

That was 3 hours ago. What could they be doing that took so long? I asked myself. Maybe, just maybe he hadn't made it... NO!!! I yelled at myself, you cant think like that!

There is no way it could have happened: Jake was strong, he would pull through... I convinced myself that he would be ok, but even so, maybe I should call Charlie just to be sure...

But Charlie saved me the effort by walking through the door at that exact moment. I immediately knew Jake would be fine, because Charlie was wearing the biggest smile I had seen on his face in a long time.

"He's fine Bell! Carlisle said that he's already starting to heal! He should make a full recovery in no time. You know what's weird though? The minuet Carlisle and Edward showed up Jake's friend cleared out of the house as if someone had let of a stink bomb or something!" I couldn't help smiling at that, although I tried to cover it up with a yawn.

"Just goes to show that old habits die hard." I mumbled.

"I know they distrust the Cullen's, but you'd think that they would be grateful to him." He complained while shaking his head.

"He's really going to be ok?" I asked, anxious to get back on topic. Charlie's smile faded a little bit, and I wondered why. Maybe he's just as worried as I am, I thought.

"Bell," Charlie said slightly impatiently, "That kid will be out running around within a week, at the speed he's healing." Charlie stopped and took a long breath as if preparing himself for what he was going to say next. "Bell I'm worried about him."

"I know dad all of us are, But if what Carlisle said is true, then there's really no reason to worry." I said confused, by what Charlie had just said.

"Its not that Bella, I'm worried because it seems that his heart belongs to you. The whole time he was unconscious and a short while afterwards, all he would say was your name. I'm just worried that when he realizes that it's all just a dream that he will be even more crushed than you were last year when Edward left. Bell you have no idea how much it hurt me to see you like that and I'm not sure that Billy's strong enough to handle it."

All the while I listened I could not believe how much Charlie's thoughts mirrored those of my own. All my thoughts and worries were laid out in front of me and I knew this was the right time to tell Charlie.

"Dad," I started out slowly, not sure how to continue, "Something happened this weekend."

"You mean when you were out with Alice?" Charlie looked confused.

"Well the thing is I wasn't really out with Alice. I went camping with Edward." Charlie started to say something, but I continued on hurriedly, "I only told you I was with Alice because I knew that you would never agree to let me go. But dad I needed some time alone with Edward. We had to talk about what we're going to do." I stopped waiting for the anger I knew was sure to follow. But nothing happened. Charlie fixed his eyes on me like he was seeing me for the fist time.

"What your going to do about what." He asked quietly, as if he was afraid of what the answer might be.

"Well" I continued carefully "Well…dad Edward proposed." I spit it out hoping that like ripping of a band aid the pain would only be brief.

"He, he, he what?" Charlie asked, as if he couldn't believe it.

"He proposed dad...and I said yes'' I winced while watching for any sign of recognition on Charlie's face. But nothing happened; Charlie just sat down slowly on the sofa rubbing his face with his hand.

"My little girls getting married." was all he could manage for time. While

I waited for him to regain his speech I got him a glass of water and a left over piece of casserole. He ate it slowly as if using it as an excuse to not say anything.

"Alice is planning the wedding!' I said, as if it would make even a little bit of difference. After Charlie had finished eating I took his empty cup and plate to the sink and washed them. When I got back Charlie looked as if he could handle a conversation, so I started to talk.

"You're ok with this, aren't you dad? I mean you knew this would happen sooner or later." I asked cautiously.

"I knew this would happen, but I didn't know that it would happen this soon. But don't ask me if I'm ok with this yet, because I'm still not sure how I feel, ''he looked as if it was difficult for him to continue." Well, I guess you could have done a lot worse. You do realize what you're getting yourself into don't you?"

"Of course dad, I know marriage is not something that you just jump into. But I really love him dad. I mean, you know how I was last year when he left. I just don't want to go through that again. Ever. "I replied a little more confidently.

"Bella, I'm just thankful that you felt you could tell me… I was afraid that I would loose you to him, but at least I get a heads up before you leave." he looked as if he were on the brink of tears, so without thinking I rushed forward and gave Charlie a huge hug, holding back tears myself.

"I love you dad. You know that I could never just disappear on you." I asked quietly. When he didn't answer I added a little worriedly "You do know that don't you Charlie? ''I pulled back and looked for some comfort in his eyes.

"Yes Bella, I know you love me." he said, after a moment of silence, "But I'm not sure if it is enough." he looked as if he had to force the words out.

"How can you say that dad?'' I pulled myself out of his arms, shocked at what he just said.

"Bella, In not denying that you love me, or that I love you, that much I'm sure of. It's just that when you're around him, It's like you can't get enough of him.You seem to forget everything else going on. I am just worried that he will leave again, but this time he'll take you with him. You have no Idea how that would hurt me Bella," he wouldn't look at me the whole time he was talking, but now he looked directly at me and I could see the pain in his eyes.

"Dad... I...I just…I had no Idea.'' that was all I could get out before the sobbing started.

Charlie held me while I tried to gain control over my body once more. The whole time all I could think about how I could never bear to see that hurt on his features, especially when I was the cause of it.

Finally I managed to pull my self together enough to make Charlie a promise

"Dad I will not be like mom, I won't run out on you." and with that my decision had been made for me.

"Thank you Bells." and with that we were done. the conversation was over, and I knew we would never talk about it.


	2. Time to Act

Two time to act

The only thing I could think about the whole way there was how I was going to tell him. I thought trough several scenarios, but none went correctly. They all ended with me choosing him, even though I knew my heart couldn't handle that ending.

The ride there never seemed so short. It was as if time couldn't wait to see me break his, and part of my. heart.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Quill asked me. I had asked him to drive me, because I didn't think I could get my self there without breaking down..

"Weather I am or not, I still have to go through with it, I said sadly. I opened the door and wished I could have gone back to the beginning before I had fallen in love with either of them.

NOW, it seemed, time was trying to torture me, because the walk up to the drive seemed to span a lifetime… a lifetime in which all I had to think about was how I was going to break it to him.

When I got to the door I knocked, but no one answered. That's weird, I thought to myself, normally one of them was always there to answers the door. I opened the door, and not knowing what else to do, walked inside. I called out his name for what I hoped would be the last time.

"Edward?"


	3. The Hardest Part

Three the hardest part

No one answered, so I walked to the stairs, and looked up to see if I could see a sign of anyone. There seemed to be a light on, so I walked up the stairs and over to Alice's and Jasper's room, where the light seemed to be coming from.

When I entered the room I realized that the light was coming from a small television from the corner of the room. If it wasn't for the fact that I was about to break the love of my life's heart, I would have be happy to be alone to explore the Cullen's house.

I walked over to the television, and realized that there was a VHS waiting to be played. I pushed it in and pressed play. Edwards face filled the small screen of the television. I gasped, even on a homemade movie, he was still strikingly beautiful. When the audio started I walked over to Alice's bed and sat down, anxious to understand what was going on.

"Bella, I know that you have come with the intention of telling me your decision. And I also know that you will find this tape. I just wanted to tell you that I understand, and I will not try to sway your decision. If you ever change your mind, just think about me, and I will know." Here he took a pause and closed his eyes. I knew that I was causing him immense pain, but it was now as much as I knew I would have caused everyone else I loved. Still it hurt to watch him go through this.

"Bella, don't ever think that you did the wrong thing, because if this is truly what you want then it is so important to me that you go through with it and realize your full human potential. I love you so very much, and always will love you!" The screen went black, and it was all I could do to hold back the tears.

When I got back to the car, Quill took one look at me and, threw his arms around me and didn't ask any questions. That was the best thing anyone could have done for me at that moment. I started sobbing, and he made no attempt to stop me. When I had cried myself dry he started the car, and without asking started driving.

I had never been more thankful for anyone in my life. I knew that the hardest part was over with, and if I could handle this then I could handle anything.


End file.
